What we learned when we put away screens for a weekend

We went full hard parenting mode. No screens for anyone all weekend long.

There were a few exceptions - we were allowed to do screens as a family, so we watched Aladdin as a family movie.

Parents could use their phones to coordinate and keep track of schedules.

Otherwise, we were supposed to find other things to do.

In today's world, it is more common than ever for children to use screens. Whether it is watching TV, playing video games, or using a tablet or smartphone, screens are a part of many children's lives. But how much screen time is too much? And what are the pros and cons of letting kids use screens?

There are both positives and negatives to letting kids use screens. On the one hand, screens can be a great source of entertainment and education. There are many educational apps and games that can help children learn about a variety of topics. At age 4, our son learned multiplication from a math app without us even realizing it.

Screens can also provide children with access to a wealth of information, including books, articles, and videos. Some reading apps do a really good job of providing new content at the right level without all the work of trying to find books that are interesting and challenging.  This was crucial during the pandemic when we were left to do much more of the teaching.

Plus, the ability to video call far flung friends and family members is an incredible benefit.

On the other hand, there are also some potential drawbacks to letting kids use screens. One concern is that excessive screen use can lead to eye strain, headaches, and fatigue. Additionally, children who spend a lot of time sitting in front of screens are more likely to be overweight or obese. The blue light emitted from screens can also interfere with sleep. Children may also find inappropriate content (no matter how hard you try to shield them).

So, how much screen time is too much? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that children ages 2 to 5 have no more than one hour of screen time per day, and children ages 6 and up have no more than two hours of screen time per day. However, it is important to note that these are general guidelines. The amount of screen time that is appropriate for your child will vary depending on their individual needs and interests.

The reason we were trying to avoid screens for the weekend was to test how much the kids really enjoyed them compared to how much they think they did. It was also to see how hard it was on the parents if we didn't let them self entertain mindlessly. We have noticed that the drive to do screens and the transitions away from them are both difficult. So is it worth it?

At the end of the weekend, we asked the kids what their main takeaways were. My oldest son pretty much nailed it:

"Screens are nice to relax, but really not a big deal to go without. But the twins were a nightmare." (The twins are 3.)

Next son added: "We spent a lot of time together as a family and that was nice. I think I'll take breaks from screens more often."

He was also right. We saw a lot more interactions between the brothers than we usually do. The standard for non-screen time is that the the two older boys play pretend games and the twins play with cars, etc on the floor. This weekend, the older brothers each played with one twin at various times for extended periods. We count that as a huge plus.

The assessment that the twins were a nightmare was unfortunately also correct. They begged for their ipads, cried for tv shows, and were unruly menaces while we tried to do things like prepare meals or clean the dishes.

My conclusion from that data is that yes, we probably rely on screens too much with the little ones. We may have set ourselves up for more negative outcomes with that reliance. But the idea that there is an easy alternative is also incorrect. We can't just ask them to play at this age and then lightly monitor from another room.

Basically, three year old twins are hard. Even still, we go a little over the one hour a day limit for screens with them but I doubt more than 90 minutes most week days. Extraordinary circumstances like being home sick may blow past that limit too, but oh well. One of the twins doesn't sit still long enough to watch screens for an extended period anyways, so he pretty much self-enforces the limits on his own.

The older boys leave that two hour time limit in the dust every weekend. They ask for screens every moment they don't have something planned. The goal of this weekend was to give them some proof that it wasn't that important for their happiness.

On that front, it was a total success. Seeing that the screens were nice as a way to relax when tired, we decided to implement a rule that they were for the morning and late afternoon on the weekends. The middle of the day would be for activities together. That rule was instantly agreed upon by everyone based on the experience of screen free weekend.

I'm glad we went through with the experiment of no screens as a family for the weekend. Honestly, we were dreading it quite a bit as parents. I'd say it only turned out about 50% as bad as we expected. The learning about the true benefits of screens was well worth the pain.