How to set boundaries with work and be there for your family

I felt like if I didn't respond to everything immediately, it would all come crashing down.  I imagined my team needed me to be on top of everything and my boss expected me to always be online.

None of that was true.  It was just my anxiety speaking.  I was nervous that I wasn't good enough.  I was scared if I didn't show everyone how hard I was working that they would judge me, or worse I would be fired.

My job did put some of those expectations on me.  Mostly I put them on myself.  

My family suffered.  I wasn't present with my kids because my mind was always on alert for work.  

I had less patience too.  Since I was always working, it felt like anything my kids needed was an interruption or made me feel guilty.  That meant I tried to get anything done for them as quickly as possible to get back to work.  Or even just thinking about work.  It made everything about my time table, not theirs.

I had to make a change.

Setting boundaries with work can be difficult, but it is essential for protecting your mental and physical wellbeing. Here are some tips to help you be there for your family while also managing your job responsibilities:

Establishing realistic expectations

When it comes to working and caring for your family, it’s important to set realistic expectations. Whether they’re from yourself or from someone else, these expectations should be aligned with your available time and energy. If things start to feel overwhelming, take a step back and reevaluate. Prioritize what is manageable, and don’t hesitate to ask for help if needed.

It's also important to remember that it's okay to make mistakes. Everyone has different levels of energy and time available, and it's important to be realistic about what you can accomplish. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't meet your expectations - those expectations are a good thing but they can go too far. Instead, take the time to reflect on what went wrong and how you can improve for the future.

Making time for family

To ensure that you’re able to give your family the attention they need, plan out regular time for them. Depending on the complexity of your work schedule, this could mean making plans ahead of time or simply carving out a chunk of time each day for quality family time. Whatever the case, be sure to make this time a priority.

When you do have family time, make sure to be present and engaged. Have a designated place in a different room to put away your phone and other distractions and focus on the people in front of you. Ask questions, listen to their answers, and be sure to show your appreciation for them. This will help to strengthen your relationships and create a positive atmosphere.

Recognizing signs of burnout

Burnout is an all too common occurrence for those who are overworked and overwhelmed. It can take a toll on your physical, mental, and emotional health if outlets for stress are not created. Knowing when to draw the line between work and family is essential for preventing burnout - if you notice your sleep patterns, eating habits, or mindset changing in a negative way, be aware that you might be reached a breaking point and take a few days to rest.

It is important to recognize the signs of burnout and take action to prevent it. If you are feeling overwhelmed, try to take a step back and assess the situation. Make sure to take breaks throughout the day, and if possible, take a few days off to rest and recharge. Additionally, it is important to practice self-care and make time for activities that bring you joy. Taking care of yourself is essential for avoiding burnout and staying healthy.

Building good communication habits

In order to find a suitable balance between work and family, you must establish trust and transparency in your communication. Make sure to regularly communicate with your colleagues and employer, especially during times when you may need to adjust your work plan due to family needs. This will create an open dialogue around scheduling and tasks, setting healthy expectations for both sides.

It is also important to be mindful of the language you use when communicating with your employer and colleagues. Use positive language to express your needs and be sure to thank them for their understanding and support instead of apologizing. Additionally, be sure to keep your communication professional and respectful, even when discussing difficult topics.

Explaining boundaries to colleagues and employers

When necessary, be sure to explain to those from your workplace what times you will be unavailable for work due to needing to care for family. Seeking out compromise and compromise compromise are key ingredients for successful management of time between work and family. Be honest about when you’ll need time away for family matters so that everyone is on the same page about priorities.  You can set an example for others to follow - this may feel scary at times, but it is important to be clear about what you need and others will thank you for it.

It is important to remember that you are not alone in this situation. Many people have to balance work and family responsibilities, and it is important to be open and honest about your needs. If you are feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for help from your colleagues or employers. They may be able to provide additional resources or support to help you manage your time more effectively.

Creating and maintaining a work-life balance

Even though it’s possible to create temporary balance, it’s unrealistic to think that you can maintain a perfect harmony between family life and work. It’s important to remember that some weeks will require more attention to one or the other, and don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t always flow perfectly.  There is no steady state.

It's important to take time for yourself and to prioritize your own needs. Make sure to schedule in time for yourself to relax and unwind, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Having a strong support system can make a huge difference in helping you to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Delegating responsibilities when possible

If it’s within your means, delegate more of your tasks at work or at home so that you can have more quality time with your family. Trust others to get things done, which I really struggle with.

Delegating tasks can also help you to focus on the most important tasks that need to be completed. By taking the time to prioritize your tasks, you can ensure that the most important tasks are completed first and that the less important tasks are delegated to someone else. This will help you to stay organized and productive, while also freeing up more time for yourself and your family.

Taking regular breaks from work

Everyone needs a break now and then - don’t forget to give yourself a break from work too! Regardless of whether you’re taking a few hours off or a whole day, taking a break from work can do wonders for your wellbeing. If possible, picking one day a week or every other week as an “off day” can help to give your mind a much needed break.

Prioritizing self-care

No one can give their best unless they are taking care of themselves first. Make sure that you’re taking the time to eat healthy food, stay hydrated, go outside, and get enough sleep. Practices such as meditation or yoga can bring in moments of peace amidst the stress of managing both work and family. Prioritizing self-care helps you stay focused on your goals and make wise decisions.

Exploring flexible work options

Depending on the type of job and company you are in, there may be flexible options available such as working remotely or part-time. Allowing yourself the freedom of not being bound to rigid working hours can provide much needed relief during busy seasons. If it’s feasible in your situation, look into more flexible options.

Seeking help from family or other support systems

Managing family life along with career goals can be overwhelming. Having resources such as a support network or help from family members such as babysitters or in-laws make the process much easier. Being honest with those around you about how you feel can open up new options for taking care of both work and family.

Remember: You are not in this alone! Finding the balance between work and family life can be tricky, but it is possible. Taking the steps above can put you on the path towards a healthier work-life balance and help you be there for your family when they need you most.